Rewrite Part of my Science Fiction Chapter

  • Durum: Closed
  • Ödül: $200
  • Alınan Girdiler: 17
  • Kazanan: CassGalFriday

Yarışma Özeti

I would like the attached science fiction chapter re-written.
Most importantly, I want an alternative to Spri getting trapped by a hand noose. If you can think of a more interesting way to trap Spri for the confrontation with the old man, that would be great. Find a trap that shows the cleverness of the old man but still shows Spri as strong and smart. Alternately, maybe you can find a better way to make the hand noose trap interesting.
As a second priority, general improvements and editing to other parts of this chapter are also welcome.

I will not use any material from this contest that I don't pay for. In addition to the winner who of course will be paid $200, I am also hoping for a runner up that I really like that I can buy for $100 as a backup idea. The second place runner up award is not guaranteed. First place award is guaranteed.

Attached is background information about the chapter, and the chapter itself. Your entry will be the chapter document with your changes.

Tavsiye Edilen Beceriler

İşveren Geribildirimi

“Good Communication. Would hire again.”

Profil Görüntüsü jimmgrogan, United States.

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Daha Fazla Katılım Görüntüle

Genel Açıklama Panosu

  • jimmgrogan
    Yarışma Sahibi
    • 3 yıl önce

    Thank you all. There were several wonderful entries and I plan to buy a couple more as backup options. I am waiting for the second place person to accept the $100 offer else I will offer that prize to another. Then I will attempt to negotiate with the next best entry and ask them to accept $50 to let me buy theirs. I might buy two entries at $50 each after a $100 prize is accepted. I can only use one but I want some more as alternates, keepsakes or possible short stories or something.

    • 3 yıl önce
    1. sumikanth
      sumikanth
      • 3 yıl önce

      Hi! Thanks for choosing a winner to the contest. It was lovely to read the winning entry. I am slightly disappointed that I couldn't win, but what does that matter :) Please inform me if you would like to buy my entry.

      • 3 yıl önce
    2. christeldanning
      christeldanning
      • 3 yıl önce

      Thank you very much for posting this contest. It was a pleasure to participate!

      • 3 yıl önce
  • wandracoperation
    wandracoperation
    • 3 yıl önce

    who is getting the second prize

    • 3 yıl önce
    1. jimmgrogan
      Yarışma Sahibi
      • 3 yıl önce

      Iancrowe. It should show there now.

      • 3 yıl önce
  • matama
    matama
    • 3 yıl önce

    It was an interesting contest, that's for sure. You may want to select the runner's up on your side though- i know that there is a way for employers to do that. That way you can make your offers based on priorities.

    • 3 yıl önce
  • HKPatel7
    HKPatel7
    • 3 yıl önce

    Hey Jim, would it be possible to extend this contest? I just found it today and was hoping to submit an entry, but I won't be able to in the allotted time. Thanks. #extended

    • 3 yıl önce
    1. jimmgrogan
      Yarışma Sahibi
      • 3 yıl önce

      Hmm. Actually I am a bit overwhelmed with the entries already. I have several great entries and I already feel guilty at the prospect of not letting all the good ones win. Sorry.

      • 3 yıl önce
  • AnnaGb32
    AnnaGb32
    • 3 yıl önce

    Hi, Jim. I like the others, eagerly await your feed back about my contribution. I am a new freelancer and even if my entry is not selected I would really appreciate your opinion on my work. If possible, I also would like to know the name of the novel so that I may read this interesting story in its entirety. Thanks in advance.

    • 3 yıl önce
    1. jimmgrogan
      Yarışma Sahibi
      • 3 yıl önce

      I do plan to give star ratings and as much feedback as is allowed in the 1000 character text box for every new entry. Hopefully I will finish them all today. The title will be 'Baktu'. It may be another month or more before it's published. Updates will be on my secret blog named after my freelancer username, since URLs are not allowed in these comments.

      • 3 yıl önce
    2. jimmgrogan
      Yarışma Sahibi
      • 3 yıl önce

      And thanks for the complement.

      • 3 yıl önce
  • wandracoperation
    wandracoperation
    • 3 yıl önce

    i have completed my entry please wait for it.. i will recheck and send it few hours before the contest expires

    • 3 yıl önce
    1. jimmgrogan
      Yarışma Sahibi
      • 3 yıl önce

      okay

      • 3 yıl önce
  • sumikanth
    sumikanth
    • 3 yıl önce

    As an additional thought, please let me know whenever this book gets published, regardless of the outcome of the contest. I would love to review a copy if it every comes out. It sounds very interesting.

    • 3 yıl önce
    1. jimmgrogan
      Yarışma Sahibi
      • 3 yıl önce

      The title will be 'Baktu'. It may be another month or more before it's published. Updates will be on my blog at ... um, it won't let me put a URL in this comment ... at jimmgrogan

      • 3 yıl önce
  • sumikanth
    sumikanth
    • 3 yıl önce

    Hi. I hope you can spare the time to take a look at and possible give feedback to my entry #18 . I would love to change it if requested to do so. Thank you for posting this very creatively engaging and thought provoking contest! It has certainly encouraged writers like me to put their thoughts together and mould their skills by trying to modify an already very strong sci-fi manuscript.

    • 3 yıl önce
    1. jimmgrogan
      Yarışma Sahibi
      • 3 yıl önce

      Thank you, I'm blushing. I do plan to give star ratings and as much feedback as is allowed in the 1000 character text box for every new entry. Hopefully I will finish them all today.

      • 3 yıl önce
  • hepzi
    hepzi
    • 3 yıl önce

    Hi Jim - it is impossible to upload files to here, is there an e-mail or something we could send it to?

    • 3 yıl önce
    1. jimmgrogan
      Yarışma Sahibi
      • 3 yıl önce

      Thanks matama for helping so many people with this.

      • 3 yıl önce
    2. matama
      matama
      • 3 yıl önce

      You are welcome :)

      • 3 yıl önce
  • jenicaxb
    jenicaxb
    • 3 yıl önce

    uhm hello im a bit new here and im interested in joining this contest, but i dont think i know how to post an entry. it says 'upload picture' and there are no other options but this is a writing competition right? i dont dare to try anything to upload an entry yet because im not completely done but i will be done before the contest closes. so please help?

    • 3 yıl önce
    1. jimmgrogan
      Yarışma Sahibi
      • 3 yıl önce

      For contest entries you have to submit your pages as a series of images. Freelancer.com says this is good so it's harder for for me to get the final product before I actually award you the prize. After you win, you can upload the actual word document file for me.

      • 3 yıl önce
    2. jenicaxb
      jenicaxb
      • 3 yıl önce

      oh. ok thank you. please do wait for my entry, i will not submit late!

      • 3 yıl önce
  • matama
    matama
    • 3 yıl önce

    Please rate entries #14 and #15. I made a few changes based on what you did not seem to like in the first file i sent. Please let me know which of the two versions you prefer.

    • 3 yıl önce
  • coderclinz
    coderclinz
    • 3 yıl önce

    Hi, I need a small clarification. I have asked it my entry comments could you please clarify it ?:)

    • 3 yıl önce
  • wandracoperation
    wandracoperation
    • 3 yıl önce

    hello i have some great ideas for rewriting but please give me time. i will definitely submit before the contests ends. so please don't select any winners before it.

    • 3 yıl önce
    1. jimmgrogan
      Yarışma Sahibi
      • 3 yıl önce

      okay

      • 3 yıl önce
  • matama
    matama
    • 3 yıl önce

    Please rate #12 and #13 together. They are part of one file that was too large to submit at once for some reason. Sorry for the inconvenience. I did not know what else to do.

    • 3 yıl önce
    1. jimmgrogan
      Yarışma Sahibi
      • 3 yıl önce

      okay

      • 3 yıl önce
  • coderclinz
    coderclinz
    • 3 yıl önce

    Hope you have read my entry :)

    • 3 yıl önce
    1. jimmgrogan
      Yarışma Sahibi
      • 3 yıl önce

      I will get to it this week

      • 3 yıl önce
  • CassGalFriday
    CassGalFriday
    • 3 yıl önce

    Thanks for posting this great project! I just found it and am looking forward to your feedback soon! Please contact me if you award before my submission, as I would be interested in future opportunities.
    All my best,
    Cass

    • 3 yıl önce
    1. jimmgrogan
      Yarışma Sahibi
      • 3 yıl önce

      I will wait a couple days or more before ending the contest.

      • 3 yıl önce
  • sanjeevk5335
    sanjeevk5335
    • 3 yıl önce

    Will you look at my entry if I submit it within one day? Please don't tell me that the contest me over for I am doing this :)

    • 3 yıl önce
    1. jimmgrogan
      Yarışma Sahibi
      • 3 yıl önce

      Okay, I'll wait before determining a winner. I wasn't going to end it right away anyway, I was just going to start grading entries with the stars and giving more detailed feedback as I find time.

      • 3 yıl önce
  • jimmgrogan
    Yarışma Sahibi
    • 3 yıl önce

    I have gotten some great entries. Thank you for your work. I will try to give detailed feedback and star rating over the next day or two. All the entries (except the "Coming Soon" one) were better than adequate. Some are great. If I say anything negative in the feedback, please be aware that I think you did good.

    • 3 yıl önce
  • puja2024puja
    puja2024puja
    • 3 yıl önce

    Hi I will be interested in giving my ideas to the science fiction , kindly let me know

    • 3 yıl önce
    1. jimmgrogan
      Yarışma Sahibi
      • 3 yıl önce

      What would you like to know puja2024puja?

      • 3 yıl önce
    2. jimmgrogan
      Yarışma Sahibi
      • 3 yıl önce

      Have you participated in a contest before? This is different than a regular project.

      • 3 yıl önce
  • jimmgrogan
    Yarışma Sahibi
    • 3 yıl önce

    What would you like to know?

    • 3 yıl önce
  • upasanabannerji
    upasanabannerji
    • 3 yıl önce

    I want to help you in this. please let me know what i need to do in order to get in touch with you

    • 3 yıl önce
    1. jimmgrogan
      Yarışma Sahibi
      • 3 yıl önce

      I'm not an expert with the freelancer website, but I assume there is a way to send private messages. You could ask freelancer technical support. I notice they do not allow exchange of email addresses.

      • 3 yıl önce
    2. jimmgrogan
      Yarışma Sahibi
      • 3 yıl önce

      If you submit your entry, it is easy to send private messages back and forth. I just click on your contest entry to go to a page where I can read your entry and give you feedback. Also there you can response or ask questions.

      • 3 yıl önce
  • matama
    matama
    • 3 yıl önce

    Can we add a few paragraphs for clarity and extend the chapter by a page or two? Also, would you like us to capitalize terms like kaziter, kazimon and so on or leave them as they are? What about italicizing them to show that they are not human terms?

    • 3 yıl önce
    1. jimmgrogan
      Yarışma Sahibi
      • 3 yıl önce

      Yes you can add paragraphs or extend the chapter. I'm not sure about italicizing kaziter or kazimon. Since the word is used so often in the book, I'm guessing it's better not to italicize or capitalize.

      • 3 yıl önce
    2. matama
      matama
      • 3 yıl önce

      okay, got it

      • 3 yıl önce
  • jimmgrogan
    Yarışma Sahibi
    • 3 yıl önce

    Another background item I forgot to mention is that the technology level on the quarantined planet Baktu is low, like 1950s Earth.

    • 3 yıl önce

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