Freelancer: MargaretLH
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Falling Dusk

First you'll notice the title, so I better explain that first. I thought that a literal translation didn't do justice to the emotion of the essay. "Falling Dusk" works well because while dusk in nature can be both beautiful and peaceful, "dusk" can also imply an ending, a loss, a dark future. I was struck by the contrasts in the essay between strength and helplessness, passion and pain, and beauty and death. Keeping in mind that you wanted a poetic translation, I tried to mimic the wavelike rhythms of the original with a combination of anapests and iambs in English. Often the changes I've made to the wording of the text have been made for the sake of a more consistent or a smoother rhythm. Some changes have been made because a literal translation came across as too harsh or jarring in English. Note also the punctuation. I used ellipses (...) to indicate transitions of thought, where the speaker is meditating, he trails off...then the intensity rises again. Dashes replaced the originals.

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