Funny anonymous quotes işler
I need someone who can create a illustration design for my camper backside. At the backside is a window an around the windows we need a special design with a Mona-Lisa in pop art like at attachment. I have two daughter and one name ist Mona and the other is Lisa :-) The right side of the window should be pop-art Mona-Lisa and one the left side the written names in a funny type. The background should be in the same style like the pictures with the elements: Super Mario, Peach, Monopoly, Duck Thales, and so on…
...long as it is attractive and user-friendly. I am not sure whether I need to have the menu printed, so I may need guidance or printing services depending on the costs and advantages. The deli menu should include between three and five pages or sections. If you think you are capable of helping me create a restaurant menu that is both beautiful and practical, please reach out with your ideas and quotes. Thank you!...
...our channel manager (OwnerRez) Create and automate email templates and triggers Develop and update listings on various platforms, including Airbnb, VRBO, and Being in charge of e-lock software for guests/vendors' access codes Coordinate with the on-site working crew and use Trello for daily task management Handle all guest-related activities, such as accepting reservations, providing quotes, and troubleshooting issues Submit damage claims to insurance companies Requirements: At least 2 years of experience in short-term property rental management Fluency in English (written and spoken) Strong attention to detail, work ethic, adaptability, and ability to learn quickly Availability to handle tasks like research, updating property listings, and resolving double-bookings Relia...
I am looking for someone to create a cartoon for coasters that I can use for an upcoming project. The style should be political and funny, and I have a clear vision of the characters and elements that I would like included in the cartoon. It is important that the cartoon is delivered to me as soon as possible.
I am looking for a data encoder to help me with a project that involves encoding text. I don't have any specific formatting requirements; I just need the data to be encoded correctly and efficiently. I need this work done within a few hours. The individual I'm looking for must be a capable and reliable data encoder who can manage and complete the task quickly and...capable and reliable data encoder who can manage and complete the task quickly and accurately. Any experience encoding text is beneficial but not required. I will provide thorough instructions for those unfamiliar with data encoding. If you think you can handle this project, I would love to have you submit a proposal. Please include your availability, any relevant experience you have, and your quotes for the...
Create 5 motivation quotes videos for my Youtube channel. Can be AI generated deep male voice. Video theme should be similar as the one i will send you. Please bid if you have experience with youtube channels, ads, etc.. Thanks Andy
I am looking to hire a freelancer to edit a family video. The video should be no longer than 5 minutes, and must include special effects and transitions. The option of having narration or a voice-over added is not certain at this time, so I am open to any suggestions th...transitions. The option of having narration or a voice-over added is not certain at this time, so I am open to any suggestions the freelancer might have. The freelancer must be able to provide a clear, well-developed end product that takes all of my requirements into consideration. It's just multiple clips of my kids fighting with lightsabers and I wanted to make a campy/cheesy edit that will be funny to watch. For effects, Id like to have the lightsabers light up if possible and some Star Wars music added in ...
The video I'm looking to create should be very similar to this one I am looking for an experienced freelancer to create an upbeat and energetic music video for my chiropractic education/ad business. My goal is to show to potential chiropractors a funny, entertaining, and attractive video that gets them excited to call our business. The video will require all new recorded footage and should last around 1 minute. I have a basic script that might need a little tweaking If you're confused on what I'm asking just watch the youtube video above
I'm looking for a funny design that will be used for a t-shirt. It should feature an old man running, along with several poop emoji's - on the ground and on his legs (not too many) and the text "Loose Stools Running Club". I'm looking for a cartoon style for this design. . I would also like some text to be included in the design so that it reads "Loose Stools Running Club". Thank you!
...Enjoy a unique story of monetary and moral values. ******close up two penny abes being friends on front. Year 1914 D Wheat Penny on one friend penny and year - next is 1943 S Lincoln Penny.... Have these two on the dresser looking at the young girl --- the girls are going to a sweet 16 party Need coins on dresser and close up two penny abes being friends on front - also 20 coins needed on side funny characters that will go throughout the book. This is to help you create coins comedy looking *****************Chapter 4**************************** The President Abraham Lincoln coin rolls in front of the other coins, and straightens up his bowtie with his hands and says, “Good evening, young lady. I have heard you crying, and I want to help you. You will need to liste...
Hello i need 50-100 Instagram pictures in the same style like in the file here. The Quotes came from me you only need to create that in the same design. Black Back White Quotes
Opportunity for Laravel Full-time Developers Opportunity to work on our projects (software) on a fixed-price basis. Please send your expected monthly salary as above. The lowest, but most experienced offer will have a better chance. Most important is we give preference to the lowest quotes Send us your working days and time also. Need to provide the changed code details and sql queries if any at the end of each sub-task, with the changed code line numbers. Unlimited Revisions are needed. Any bugs created due to your own developments are to be fixed free of Charge. Send your Industry experience in Application development, type of applications developed, etc for us to select the best offer. Also, send your working hours per day, (Including the time band), and the number of days...
I need a developer who can build my website so that customers who book the services I offer can receive automatic quotes/offers
We would like to build a unique lan...provide a custom quote and allow users to book a consultation. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Proficiency in building AI-driven landing pages - Experience in esthetic or preventive medicine projects - Knowledge of PWA development - Ability to integrate AI algorithms for generating custom quotes - Familiarity with lead generation strategies Key Requirements: 1. Least Squared AI: The AI algorithm should include criteria such as interest, age, location, gender, fitness level, etc., to generate accurate custom quotes for the users. 2. Sections: The landing page should have 1-3 sections to provide concise and impactful information to the users. If you have the necessary skills and experience in building AI-driven landing pages, please subm...
I'm looking for someone to create something like an exam machine with CTF challenges (preferably an .ova file, something like those machines on Vulnhub) Each vulnerability must return some flag e.g. exploiting FTP you can find file : flag{ftp_is_easy} Vulnerabilities that should appear: Network: - Anonymous FTP login - SMB - Telnet - NFS - SMTP WEB: -XSS stored, reflected (but with filter bypass) -SQLi on login page -Directory Path Traversal -CSRF or SSRF -IDOR Let me know the price and completion time Don't look at the price in my bid, I just don't know about it and don't know how to price it
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I am looking for talented artists to create artwork for high quality stickers and patches featuring the Navy Destroyer USS Paul Ignatius (DDG117) and integrating the movie Talladega Nights (Wonderbread colors, quotes from movie about speed, NASCAR-looking, etc).
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...our channel manager (OwnerRez) Create and automate email templates and triggers Develop and update listings on various platforms, including Airbnb, VRBO, and Being in charge of e-lock software for guests/vendors' access codes Coordinate with the on-site working crew and use Trello for daily task management Handle all guest-related activities, such as accepting reservations, providing quotes, and troubleshooting issues Submit damage claims to insurance companies Requirements: At least 2 years of experience in short-term property rental management Fluency in English (written and spoken) Strong attention to detail, work ethic, adaptability, and ability to learn quickly Availability to handle tasks like research, updating property listings, and resolving double-bookings Relia...
... What type of logical fallacy does it have, according to Informed Arguments? Action 4: Copy-paste that prompt to your paper, and write an analysis of it by following the directions set therein. You need to point out what has gone wrong in the argument or what type of logical fallacy it has, AND what is needed to make it valid. Your analysis should be based on Informed Arguments. You may direct quotes from both the prompt and Informed Arguments, but no Works Cited is needed for this exercise. Note: Each argument in those prompts contains logical fallacies or illogical reasoning. The problem may lie in its Claim (position/stance/conclusion) or in its Reason (supports/evidence) or in the link between the Claim and the Reason. ...
Chatbot is written In PHP/Mysql, codebase in GitHub. Need to add following functions: 1. Send 1 time daily message random quote from the existing quote database 2. Send 1 time daily message random quote of last X days 3. Make a configuration menu where I will be able to set time for both random quotes and number of days (X) for the second option. Timezone should be taken from the device not the server. option to set random time during 09:00 - 21:00 is also there. Also ability to turn off sending messages. 4. Set some messages to return back every day at random time, just to remind yourself everyday (like any quote should have ability to be marked as favorite) Bugs: 5. If account does not have username, handle the error, and ask either to add username or generate / set a new one if ...
I am in need of a talented freelancer to come up with a 5-minute stand-up comedy routine. The routine should cover being a grandparent and themes that I have detailed out for this project. In addition, I would like for the freelancer to also adapt existing material where appropriate. The perfect freelancer for this pr...knows their comedic strengths and is confident in their writing abilities. It would be great if the freelancer can take my ideas and come up with a fantastic routine that people will laugh at and enjoy. I am open to suggestions but I mainly want the freelancer to adapt an existing piece that depicts my topics and themes. If you are a skilled comedic writer and feel that you can deliver a unique, funny, and entertaining 5-minute stand-up routine, then please reach ...
We are lo...visually appealing and engaging social media content - Ability to strategically use hashtags to maximize reach and engagement - Proficiency in graphic design tools and software to create visually appealing posts Looking for 12 Instagram posts on a finance/trading/motivational theme for an instagram blog that is offering passive income streams through trading and forex. These can be motivational quotes/lessons on personal finance/lessons on trading forex/tips for investing in stocks or property/taking profits etc. Can be picture backgrounds or call to actions towards our link in bio that would lead to passive income generation for the audience Logo is attached Will be looking for continued projects from contest winner. Instagram account/watermark is - @ZenTrad...
...Other consideration: I've been thinking about the CMS/Front matter a bit. Some of those ideas: A post on Systainer Works contains 1 to 6 pictures. Each picture could have a description. A post could have up to 1 YouTube video with a short description. A post on Systainer Works could contain a profile of the person submitting with a pic and brief bio and social media links. Or it could be anonymous. On the backend though (in the CMS) I'd create a profile so I could track who submitted what content as I curate it. Each post would have tags associated with it. There is an idea of a sponsored post, which may include special graphics to call this out, could be phase 2 of the project. Nice to have: The CMS, if possible, should build some sort of link abstractions....
I want to make a hoodie for my friends from college. This is a funny and creative one. The name is Big slutty university (BSU)and the mascot is a horny rhino. I want it to be clever, and creative. * home of the horny rhinos Established 2010 Example type in photos
I am seeking a female voice over expert for my gaming channel in Hindi. Desired Tone: - Energetic and enthusiastic Script: - you have to talk your own in funny way and engaging Length of each piece: - More than 10 minutes Daily 1 long video and 2-3 short video Salary Monthly 10,000Rs (fixed) Basic video editing skills required to match voice with video Ideal Skills and Experience: - Fluent in Hindi - Experience in voice over for gaming channels - Ability to deliver an energetic and enthusiastic tone - Creative and able to provide suggestions for scripts - Reliable and able to meet deadlines If you are a talented female voice over artist with a passion for gaming and the ability to bring scripts to life with energy and enthusiasm, please apply with samples of your wo...
> Change relationship of Project and Quotes from "Many to Many" to "One to Many". Each project can have multiple quotes but each quote must have only one project. > Add Contract Auto Numbering (with Prefix) > Add Prefix to the Invoice and Quotes record numbering.
...Experience in developing rate and quote management systems for Freight Forwarding - Proficiency in working with spreadsheets - Knowledge of system integration - Understanding of security measures, particularly at a medium level Project Description: I am in need of a rate and quote management system for my freight forwarding business. Currently, we are using spreadsheets to manage our rates and quotes. However, we are looking to streamline this process and make it more efficient. The platform will enable our clients to put basic shipment information and get the freight cost. This is the first step of our project, we will add more functionality later. Integration with our existing systems is not a definite requirement, but it may be considered depending on the feasibility and b...
...condition called H.P.P.D. The threat is also that whoever is drugging that veteran will go unnoticed and continue to harm our elder and friend. The solution I present is to have these Vets hair follicle analyzed by a lab to reveal the toxin as formally present. This way the veteran can reassess his surroundings, to create a safe environment. I have heard tell of such things. I would like to remain anonymous. I am willing to speak with the journalist. The facts on H.P.P.D. can be found simply enough. This condit6ion is often confused for the following disorders: Depression, p.t.s.d. bipolar disorder, schizoid effective disorder and schizophrenia. A veteran is more likely having lesser done drugs to be aware of L.S.D. effects and the former combat stress they have seen puts them a...
I am looking for a funny cartoonish style caricature picture with a funny background, featuring 2people( girls )for a birthday! One is Cabin Crew and the other works in Forex investments whoever makes the birthday special! I'm interested in a style that looks hand-drawn, with bright colors and good details that capture the essence of my occasion. Make it playful, fun, and vibrant! Thanks! P.S need it very quickly as the event is on Saturday
I need a 2/3 paragraph speech. I am going to speak on behalf of our nonprofit health clinic to a bunch of insurance companies I need something witty and funny and meaningful. It's to basically, ask for money.
I am looking for a freelancer to design a logo for a project featuring Thai fruits. The design elements and colors I have in mind need to be reflected in the logo so I do not have a logo already. The project will focus primarily on content related to Thai fruits, including recipes using these fruits, articles about the different types of Thai fruit, and descriptions of the different varietie...your imagination can come up with! Visuell a must: Black and white PANDA Bear, sitting, fat, friendly cartoon face, see Arms , claws, feet Toes. Some how on the belly a big DURIAN, SOME or FEW MANGOSTINS, AND A GREEN COCNUT IN proportion, natural color, as in Piccture attached. Needs to be visually clear what Fruits this are. Panda preferably Black and white. Font: Title: WE FRUITS Somehow bend. ...
...cohesive and distinct style, including MDMA Therapy Kit's logo, with a thematic link to their website, branding and product, ideally incorporating the same style of background (colour ink in water/clouds/smoke photography). Templates: Inspirational: - 1 x design, in a similar style to Jessica Ortner. - Create with 3 different colour ways, similar to Elementum Coaching. - Primarily use to share quotes and inspirational messages. General Advertising: - 2 x designs. - General advertising templates, used to share different marketing tag lines. - Designs to be based on concept art from client. - Template to be designed based on examples provided and with inspiration from Millionaire Mentor. Additional Advertising: - 1 x designs. - General advertising template, used to s...
Will be adding Docusign Power forms to my webforms for lead generation. Lead will first enter in required information and contact information, click submit, the lead will be provided with a list of quotes. When they click submit, their information is mapped inside salesforce to create a new lead object. After they click submit on the webform, they are able to see the list of quotes and can then click "apply" to apply for the quote they selected. This will redirect them to a Docusign Powerform. Once completed, I want it to update a field on the lead object that was created in salesforce using Zapier if this is possible. I have a business Pro account with Docusign, but could upgrade to a Docusign API account if it can't be done with Zapier and can be done...
I am looking for an experienced creator to create some fun, cute and funny cat gif memes for me! Specifically, I need someone to take a collection of cat pictures that I will supply and change them into gifs with accompanying text (if preferred). In total, I need 1-3 cat gif memes created for me. My goal is to make people smile. If you have any ideas on how to make these memes better, please let me know! I'm open to any suggestions. Thanks!
...and Android devices, , Daily Quotes and Affirmations" app. This app would provide users with a daily dose of motivational and inspiring quotes or affirmations to uplift their mood and mindset. Here's how you can implement it: App Features: Quote or Affirmation: Users receive a new motivational quote or positive affirmation every day upon opening the app. Quotes: Allow users to mark their favorite quotes, creating a collection they can revisit anytime. Functionality: Implement a feature that enables users to share their favorite quotes on social media platforms or with friends via messaging apps. : Organize quotes into different categories such as happiness, success, love, etc., allowing users to explore quotes based ...
...help us determine our future targets. Finally, I need this sales scorecard to be updated on a weekly basis, so I can accurately track and measure our progress. This will be a great tool for our team as we try to increase sales performance. This report is intended for the salesperson to keep track of their individual numbers with automatic updates for their current bid pot once they update their quotes delivered, less jobs won and jobs lost. I would like built-in graphs and analysis on a google sheet...
...help us determine our future targets. Finally, I need this sales scorecard to be updated on a weekly basis, so I can accurately track and measure our progress. This will be a great tool for our team as we try to increase sales performance. This report is intended for the salesperson to keep track of their individual numbers with automatic updates for their current bid pot once they update their quotes delivered, less jobs won and jobs lost. I would like built-in graphs and analysis on a google sheet...
Update Woocommerce store product details from ShareASale and Impact Radius affiliate program APIs - Need to update both product details and prices/availability - Require assistance in setting up the API integration - Add new products from merchant p...setting up the API integration - Add new products from merchant product feeds - for new products, connect to OpenAI API to re-write product descriptions - Automatically add tags - Add category taxonomy - Fill all product related fields including "brand" "MPN/GTIN", target URL - Must include support for variable products (size, color, gender, etc.) - Include the word "bananas" in your quote. Any quotes not including this word will be ignored. - Task would include setting this up for both Share-A-Sale and Im...
...enable potential customers to express interest in specific products or services. Integrate live chat support to address customer queries in real-time. Client Portal: Develop a secure login portal for registered clients to access personalized information, order history, and shipment tracking. Shipping and Logistics Integration: Integrate shipping and logistics solutions to provide accurate shipping quotes and tracking information for orders. Multilingual and Multi-Currency Support: Implement language options and currency conversion to cater to a global audience. Responsive Design: Ensure the website is fully responsive, providing an optimal viewing experience across various devices and screen sizes. Technical Requirements: Utilize the latest web development technologies and f...
Enterprise Data Integration - Schema Mapping and BigQuery SQL Queries I am looking for a freelancer who can help me with batch integration for my enterprise data integration project. The ideal candidate should have experience in data extraction, transformation, and loading (ETL) projects and BigQuery SQL queries. Context: We are integrating enterprise data into our Big...tables to link to the Power BI dashboard Skills and Experience: - Proven experience in enterprise data integration projects - Knowledge in data ETL workflows - Experience in Google Cloud Platform especially BigQuery - Proficiency in working with SQL queries - Experience in generating business insights from a large amount of data If you have the necessary skills and experience, please submit your quotes for thi...
I'm looking...50th that is large enough to be printed out as a poster. I'm open to various styles, from collage to painting to graphic design. If you have an additional talent for graphic design, I'd love to see what you could develop. My ultimate goal is to be able to proudly hang this piece up in his home or office. Below is a document of his favorite movies, music, tv shows, and sports moments. It can be quotes, posters, album covers, sports players, etc. For example, for Star Wars it could be the movie poster, “may the force be with you”, Luke Skywalker, or Yoda. We want it to be a collage where every time you look at it you see something new. Below is a list of the items, we would love for the ones highlighted to be the priority. There is also an exa...
Escape From Tarkov Funny Meme Video - Youtube and TikTok Format Required I am looking for a talented video editor who can create a hilarious and self-deprecating meme video for my Escape From Tarkov Youtube and TikTok channels. The video should be short, with a length of less than 1 minute, and should incorporate self-deprecating humor to entertain my audience. Skills and Experience: - Proficient in video editing software (e.g. Adobe Premiere Pro, Final Cut Pro) - Creative and able to come up with funny and relatable ideas for the video - Familiarity with Escape From Tarkov and its meme culture - Ability to edit and enhance audio to add comedic effects - Experience in creating engaging and shareable content for social media platforms (Youtube, TikTok) Ideal Candidate: - Ha...
I am looking for a skilled image editor who can place a Barbie doll into 7 different photographs. The ideal candidate should have experience in object placement and be able to seamlessly integrate the doll into the images. Skills and experience required for this job include: - Proficiency in image editing software such as Photoshop - Strong attention to detail and ability to match lighting an...shadows - Knowledge of composition and perspective to ensure realistic placement - Previous experience with object placement in photographs - Ability to work efficiently and meet deadlines Please provide examples of previous work in object placement in photographs to be considered for this project. Barbie doll should be placed based in the context of each photography to make it more real and ...
I am looking for a spoke person who can create a funny advertising parody for a 30-45 seconds video. The video should have a humorous tone and be engaging for the viewers. Skills and experience required: - Experience in acting or presenting in front of a camera - Ability to deliver comedic lines and jokes with timing and precision - Creative thinking to come up with funny and entertaining content - Good communication skills to effectively convey the message of the parody - Familiarity with video editing software to add special effects or enhance the comedic elements of the video The ideal candidate should be able to bring a sense of humor and creativity to the project, while also maintaining a professional attitude and delivering high-quality work within the specified tim...
...tee design. The concept is escaping from boring office work (eg. a 9-5 job) to the beautiful mountains of California. The style should be some mix of: Retro / Vintage / Crisp / Clean / Minimal. Colour choice is up to you but they should be tasteful and ideally gentle pastel style shades and blacks/whites. Please come up with your own creative idea for this. It should NOT be cartoon ish or funny or look like a cheap simple design t-shirt. Text can be added if it suits the design idea. Theme: Adventure Specific Requirements: - No specific images, text, or fonts, but the client has some ideas - Complete creative freedom in terms of design Font: Signal (attached) or other suitable fonts of your choice can be used. Design Variations: - Only one design variation required I...
Hi there - I'm looking to create a messaging experience powered by Twilio Programmable Messaging for my business. Specifically, I need two-way messaging capabilities and am open to potentially data capture and analyses as part of the project. My ideal turnaround time for completion of this project would be within 1-2 weeks - please provide your quotes accordingly. Thank you for your time and consideration!
I am looking for a graphic designer to create creative and funny designs for t-shirts and mugs. The ideal candidate should have experience in creating eye catching, retro, and beautiful designs. The client is open to suggestions and would like the designer to come up with ideas for the specific images or concepts to be included in the design. The design should use neutral colors to create a versatile and timeless look. The goal is to create designs that are visually appealing and can be easily incorporated into various products. Client wants to use the design for commertial purpose to you have to sign IP. First batch will be 10 Designs of Thsirts and Mugs If you have a knack for creating eye-catching designs and can bring humor and motivation to your work, this project is ...
Virtualize server Install latest version of linux Install RDP Configure server and ESXi Quotes are based on 30USD/hr
I am looking for a freelancer to create a financial dashboard for our consulting company, LAYS. Specific financial metrics to track in the dashboard include...bring a client with a business project 2- We will provide the agent both a) Final Quote to Client - Sale Price b) Agent Quote - Agent 1 Price and Agent 2 Price etc... 3- Once Project is accepted a deposit is made and entered in 4- We start breaking down the project into sections (Payment Milestones) Needed: 1- We need an input tab where we create the project and milestones and define the agent quotes and the final selling price 2- We need an expenses tab where we input our costs (Forcast initialy and Actual Later) 3- We need another tab that shows us how much we make overal 4- We need a tab to print an invoice to all Agents ...
