Stupid işler

Make a professional-looking video to advertise Neon Swipe and encourage people to install the app. Record some stupid moves, that make the people feel they want to try this game. - Show some gameplay - Be formatted for use on YouTube and other video platforms - We will need a portrait version of the video with an aspect ratio of 9:16 and a landscape version of the video with a ratio of 16:9.

I am re-posting this because there seems to be a lot of confusion. I do not need you to create the APK - i already have that. ALL I NEED YOU TO DO - is link the APK to a button on my WordPress so people can download the App. I only paid $30 to have the APK done and delivered with the source code. Please do not give me stupid prices like 30-100$ to simply link the APK to a button. It is stupid that people are even quoting this. I could do this myself - but i too many other things to do at the moment. But if idiots keep responding - i will do myself. This should just be a 5 minute job for someone that knows what they are doing

I have a website that's been up for months now but google only shows 4-6 images in image search when I search with site:websitename.com. I'm sure it's something simple and stupid but I need an expert to take a look and see what I'm doing wrong.

Looking for a skilled developer that can do hard tasks. Could use html, css, python or javascript to build it. It would be like a platform that connects buyer and seller. Sellers post their offers and we're charging a fee. There would be about 70-100 categories and in each of them bunch of products. I'd need some chat between buyer and seller. 15+ payment meth...would be like a platform that connects buyer and seller. Sellers post their offers and we're charging a fee. There would be about 70-100 categories and in each of them bunch of products. I'd need some chat between buyer and seller. 15+ payment methods to be integrated and also I need stuff like id scanner. If anyone is skilled enough, I can talk with him in details about it. Please don't send me stupid...

To whom it may concern, I am a writer and comedian fro...away so I don’t know how you will take it but it is the truth WE HAVE FREEDOME OF SPEECH I’m just a privileged white woman from L.A. and I have to get this out. White people don’t tell the truth much, so you better pay attention to this. I have left out some names of certain people on purpose but if the ones I left in have a problem with the truth, don’t blame me for telling everyone about the stupid shit you did. Anyone who doesn’t like what I’m going to say, YOU CAN’T GET BLOOD FROM THE TRUTH that’s why you give yourself a disclaimer and hire a lawyer before you get into deep shit, I HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE OR LOSE, BUT I CAN’T TELL YOU EVERYTHING OR...

...funny, and has comes up with great stuff off the top of her head. Examples: I was teaching Molli to ride her bike last summer. I've been walking and running beside her, but as she got better (and faster) I went to get ride my bike with her. When she saw me, she said "WOW, I didn't know old fogeys could ride a bike!" Molli was sitting on a swing and singing "I love my daddy, because he's not stupid." Grandma: Molli how did you get slime in your hair? Molli: Because I was playing with slime. Molli was excited to see Papa and ran up to him fast. He picked her up and spun around, giving her a big hug. Molli tooted loudly Molli- “oh Papa, you squeezed me too hard!” Molli: mom I can't wear that shirt. It is toooo stripey Mom: ...

...will need whites etc. too. We want a cartoon logo for a social media campaign called "Stupid News". We are a start-up EdTech publisher and we want to generate amusement and interest by pitching a new publication alongside a story about something really stupid someone in the world has done this week. So we want a good logo / icon which captures the idea of stupidity. We want to present ourselves as the antidote to stupidity. Our logo - for Brillder, our publishing brand - is a block of three side-by-side icons (see uploads below or go to ). We want the cartoon 'stupid' logo to be able to do two things: 1) Stand on its own as the logo for "stupid news". The strap line / title "stupid news" needs to be part o...

We need to create a comprehensive list of hand gestures and catalog them in a spreadsheet. See screenshot included. Start by searching google for: list of hand gestures. 10 hour max job. We started the sheet here: We need to capture an image, description, number of hands (1 or 2), and X for each "significant" finger used in the gesture There should be several hundred unique gestures when you review all the sources. The graphics do not need to match or be the same style, but they should be clear. To show that you have attention to detail, write your favorite COLOR as the first word in your bid and we will know that you actually read this posting. We are looking for someone to get started right away. The examples in the shared sheet took 5 minutes to get 8 examples. Tha...

Hi there My name is Archie and I am co-founder of software development agency MOWAY based in Ukraine, and we are looking for Full Web developers for long...anyway. In reply, please, tell about your experience (commercial and non) and what drives you, what really motivates you and why you would like to be successful developer. Whether you are strong junior or middle, or you just became one - message me and let's become one team! Put "Moway is power!" in the beginning or it will be ignored! Do not want spam proposals. Also no agencies guys, dont be stupid, I am an agency! And no Indian, Pakistan etc people, sorry guys, can not rely on you Пацаны, если вы прочитали то, что сверху или приложили усилия и перевели - тоже пишите!

I need a change in the way my theme location search works. Currently, for example, you cannot just search for results in one entire country, e.g. for all of Italy. If you only enter "Italy", the entries for Italy will not be displayed, even if they exist. According to the developers of the theme google maps is based on latitude and longitude, not locations. That's totally uncommon and stupid because for this as a customer you would have to know (as a first time visitor...), that if you want to see results for all of Italy in general, you have to enter, for example, "Rome, Italy" and then the largest possible radius (in the hope that other entries will not be displayed across countries). So you would have to change google maps search based on latitude and lon...

if you have a ready data set of vehicle ( bus truck motorcycled ) already labeled I am willing to buy the data set should be in high quality , please do be stupid and try to link me to the known data sets online

Looking for a VA for a variety of tasks across a variety of sectors. We are a company that works with everything from the tech space, through to animal charities. Odd jobs are th...sectors. We are a company that works with everything from the tech space, through to animal charities. Odd jobs are things that quickly slip through the cracks and pile up into a gross pile of stuff that nobody wants to even look at, let alone tackle. We're looking to delegate that. Typical day could be anything from writing grants, research on doggo rescue, all the way through to fielding stupid questions from clients ("I unplugged my keyboard, now it doesn't work... what should I do?") We can teach (almost) anything, but what we can't teach is common sense. So please...

Myself and a friend are starting a podcast hosted by best friends (Rob and Lloyd) who live on different continents. It will be a comedy chat show about anything and everything. Title: The Stupid Clever Chat Show Subtitle: with Rob and Lloyd We require a logo to promote our brand and use for content thumbnails and social media profiles etc. It needs to be original, eye catching and easily readable. We're not visually gifted so only have a loose concept and are looking for some artist inspiration. We will need a couple of options that we're able to review and revise before settling on a final product. Our current concept is the title at the top, our faces in the middle, with the subtitle below. We would love to see a cartoon style version, an art/ink/sketch version, and th...

I bought a heat press from an auction but the wires were split. After some googling I was able to find out its from china, a 220v machine that can pull up to 1300w. There is a third wire hiding in the insolation which is dark red but clearly a red wire. I have no idea how to wire stuff and i don't wanna do something stupid. I imagine its something very simple for an electrician.

I typed a huge amount of stuff ... and then this stupid system caused me to lose it all. Grrr. Oh well, here's hoping that this net-zero, no fossil fuel community takes off!

Recreate a better version of an existing logo. The attached logo is terrible. It's for a bar and restaurant, but the venue is more like a pub, with a lot of wood. The owner though loves this stupid logo, so I need to recreate it so that it will fit on a website. (currently, the long step of the glass is much too long, so perhaps put it beside or behind the name). I also attached a second concept that he likes, but the font needs to be better, and use the turquoise color from the Woodzy logo, and make the cup turquoise as well.

We need help with scraping two shops. (pleas...be linked directly, 1-5 images. YOUR experience - scraping - python 3.7 - 5+ years with python Some basics about bidding as it does not seem to be clear to people how it works: When you bid you give me your price. I start communicating with you based on this. if you change your price you are out in one second. I am not interested in haggling about a price when you have done it before. How stupid do you think the question "What is your max price?" sounds. Of course, I will tell you I have 6 trillion in budget and I want you to burn at least this. I guess your price will be 8 trillion anyway. I have given you every single opportunity to bid correctly since you have all prerequisites. Use that opportunity and come across...

I want someone to make me a logo for my food delivery app. I had it done by a previous freelancer but that stupid gave me an already used logo stealing from somewhere else. Need an authentic designer.

We would like you to create a cartoon-like character to serve as our company mascot. The character must be fresh and original. NOT clipart. NOT a copy of somebody else's work, or something you found online. Just a simple initial sketch, outlining your idea, will be sufficient. The nature of this character is: They are dumb They are stupid They are foolish They are ignorant They are easily fooled They are easily taken advantage of They are always walked on and stomped on They always get beaten up They always lose They never win They are what people call a LOSER Please come up with a character that looks the part of all of the above attributes. Thank You and Good Luck

Hi Mohammed, I believe the work we were promised seems like it's changed due to some stupid management reasons but they haven't told me officially, I'm still waiting. I have spend so much money on their project but haven't heard anything back. For now, let's stop moving forward with them, I will let you know if anything changes. Thank you so much for all the work you have done, you saved the day like always!

I would like to create a colorful, cheerful , 90 seconds video for store products. must be youtube compatible. 1- Video should include these editable foelds: (a) Business name (b) Business Address. (c) Business phone number (d) business fax number ...(c) Business phone number (d) business fax number (e) business logo (f) business website url (G)Can include as many as 60 products use dummy pictures like: Product1, product2, product3...........product69,product70 (h)End the video with A full screen message " We offer generous discounts, find out at (Editable)" (i) Please add a soft classic music over ( do not use that loud crazy stupid music that everyone use) Please Read the project carefully, The bid amount is the amount the reward would be, I have no patience for barga...

If you waste my time.. I am the most arrogant client here.. Stick to what I asked and read before bidding. Some basic rules: 1) I don't need bidders sending me copy/paste or irrelevant bids. Read before bidding. If you can not place proper amount/days - ask me why? I hate carrot bid and I will delete stupid $30 bids even if it a smaller than my budget. 2) English communication is important. I am not here to chat with everyone so make me chat with you by impressing me in 2 mins. 3) Don't think I need web developers OR just a designer. Read. Stop wasting my time if you don't have skills I need. === You are still with me.. Means you have the skills I need so let's talk about the project. I am starting marketing for my main service/site and this is a marketing pr...

...context for the situation and including relevant descriptive details. OO Everyone understands the benefits of laughter. For example, someone once said, “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.” Many other people believe that laughter is an important part of any relationship. Tell a true story in which laughter was one element or part. OO Is it true that there is “no such thing as a stupid question”? Tell a story about a time when you were afraid that a question you wanted to ask might make you look foolish, inattentive, or rude. What happened? OO Think of a vacation that really stands out. Write about the events that set it apart from other vacations. Be sure to include description details in your explanation of events. OO Think about an acco...

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I am hoping to purchase a custom sized astronaut helmet that I could use while Djing simply for the fun of it. I have no idea how any of this works so if these are stupid specs then please feel free to tell me that they are haha. 1) I really like the idea of the mask portion being gold and or tinted so that no one could see into the mask but I could see out of the mask. 2) I like the idea of the lights in the pictures given actually working if that would be possible. 3) and in terms of sizing. I would like if it was a comfortable fit, not to difficult to take off, and could fit a pair of headphones inside along with my head. In terms of timeline this is something I am looking to pull the trigger on in 4-6 weeks. Thank you in advance for your time and I look forward to hear...

some idiot develop it on stupid platform looking for expert ( proven record of developing Seo friendly Wordpress website) who follow our guidance on product specific Seo structured website to do on website change theme use better platform ask us about Seo details so you can do better Seo structured website add about us page connect 2 tabs ( site images & site clips ) to google drive streaming content add ( we will provide) user friendly contact us " measurement tab "

[##I Need 10supplier help adv my gambling app]]] can told me your plan ,after let me know how i can got more real user / player form india. please review message , i need real user to play my gambling app. This not on app store / play store online , also no website , this the link let user/player download , is mean this not about/relate any key word /seo. Don't customer any stupid suggestion to me. let me more player , before [you click this project, please you prepare any plan, budget fee this one can discus ] , main point is how much result you give for me [### don't told me crate any google /ads /fb account for you###]]]

an app that helps the elderly to use the basic applications through live video chat we are just school doing a stupid project so don't have to be so pro thanks a simple app that can do a live video chat to assist the elderly when they are using their phone. the live person helping out will be able to see their user's phones. every time the elderly user download this app all they have to do is click a button accessible right in front of their user phones (just like how there is a camera button n the lock screen of apple products) so basically the live person will control their phones for example in theapp the live person can glow the apps in user phones to show the elderlies which to tap. the olive person can teach the eldely user how to use each button that pops up th...

Tab #1 (Targets) has 4 text blocks in columns in pairs N & AB, S & AG, these need to be scanned for keywords listed in TAB #2 (synonyms) The output will go into AI-DO columns (you can see listed anchor terms there). format will 4 numbers separated by commas which are the total counts for N, AB, S, AG (in that order). ...Process" You are a professional if you have read this far. Prove it. Put the name of your favorite Google Sheets or Excel add on as the first word in your bid. This will show us you have attention to detail You only need to focus on the first 3 tabs in the sheet, the rest you can ignore. -Do not offer to do this in Excel -Do not spam us with a generic bid (instant delete) -Do not chat us with stupid questions that are covered in the descr...

Weekend Project - If you bid, you will get my attention. To get my sensible and positive attention, don't put stupid bid amount and read the project. Others will see a client with attitude problem. I am agile and do lots of R&D projects here so time is important. I am cost conscious too if you know me. I put time and efforts in my project details and expect you to read and understand before bidding. I have built a website in MEAN (car marketplace) but current design is targeting sellers/dealerships and it starts with sellers/dealers uploading a deal directly. I want to now target buyers who don't want to be bothered by salesmen. We will add two functional web pages before. You will be responsible for design and website code (including DB schema and all) Page 1 - ...

If you bid, you will get my attention. To get my sensible and positive attention, don't put stupid bid amount and read the project. Others will see a rude client or a client with attitude problem. I am agile and do lots of R&D projects here so time is important. I am cost conscious too if you know me. I put time and efforts in my project details and expect you to read and understand before bidding. Bid for 5 hours work.. Below. Don't ask me budget. I am selecting here.. I don't do budget. I am looking for someone with a mindset of business or a product manager who can talk to me, gets my vision for a website (understand what we want to demo/ build through website developers in next 3-4 days) and helps me write website/design requirements for website develo...

If you are stupid enough do put a bid of $280-$300 per PAGE!!! We have a HTML template we are using to build a new website in larvel, and we require additional pages to be design from our template that matches the template html and css, and our overall design. Some pages are forms, others are tables. There is a section for calendars with drag and drop feature. Most components are in the them, you will use copy paste to make up the new page. You will deliver average 2 pages a day. Please mention price per page. Can work Friday - Saturday - Sunday You will provide pages in HTML format, and create new CSS file with any code you write, with proper start and end comments. Pages should be working 100% and ready for the back-end developer. We are looking for a professional to get these...

...freelancers who understand the concept. Auto-bids and bids from companies who clearly miss the point will be ignored. If you’re serious about your app-building expertise, please take your time to submit a thorough bid. The client is looking to do this well, not trying to break any land-speed records. Please contact me directly if you have any questions at all. As the saying goes: the only stupid question, is the one you don’t ask. Kind Regards and Happy Bidding. JD...

...Heart, You're the One That I Want, The Prayer and many more. From Country to Pop. From Broadway to Classic. Sharon is joined onstage with Glenn Shields one of Queensland's finest entertainers. With a recent sold out performance at Redlands Performing Arts Centre this is a show not to be missed." "A showcase of the worldwide hit duets from the 40s to today. From Frank and Nancy Sinatra’s Something Stupid to Dirty Dancing’s Time of my Life… add Kenny and Dolly, Sonny and Cher, John and Olivia, a truly entertaining show. " The Duets Show” covers all those hits from great duos of the ‘60s and beyond. Featuring songs from Sonny and Cher, Elton John and Kiki Dee, June Carter and Johnny Cash to Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers. Heart...

... We are around 60 employees now, and we are aiming for a series A funding to realize our huuuuge ambitions for the coming years. We are now looking for a Senior Frontend Developer that can bring our visuals, UI/UX and frontend stack to the next level. Let’s be polite and introduce ourselves first - so who are we and what are we doing? Let's face it: accounting sucks. Entering data into a stupid system? Sending invoices? Trying to get the last decimals to match so your auditor doesn’t scream at you? We would prefer spending time with family or friends. The same goes for our customers. At Likvido we are automating accounting for our customers. We do this by having a super awesome product that helps you: Send “smart invoices” that reconcile them...

...encrypts and decrypts a single file. I need someone to handle exceptions like: - Empty field for password - Wrong password - Wrong file format - No file - etc ... ... and displayed a message to the user about what to fix in (not traceback). If I have missed something, please include it in the changes. The program has done the handling of exceptions, it has to work! - no matter what "stupid" things are done with him. You only use what is implemented in the program. No additional libraries, and I certainly disagree with Qt. ADDITIONAL BONUS: If you provide me the program also in a working version for windows (one exe file), and apple and linux .. I will be much more interested in your offer (but it is not obligatory). PS. I pay only through Freelancer, I do not pa...

I need you to find a title and subtitle for my article. The title should be outstanding, interesting, informative. The title should not be a clickbait. Examples for good titles: - You don’t need to break a leg you need a process. - A stupid with a plan can beat a genius with hope. The title should be related to the subject (process) or can be drown upon the subject.

It's about an application, which includes both a client side and a server side. The server side is written on ASP.net, The client side on JavaScript. The server side must contain a database with at least two tables and contain all the operations: query / retrieval according to conditions, update, insert and delete. Modular separation between Business Logic and UI must be maintained. To include the database in the project, add a file with a script in sql with a sql extension that contains all the CREATE commands (in the correct order) of the database and also enable INSERT commands if you want to have initial data. The script can be run, for example, from SSMS (or from Visual Studio to set up the database). Includes the CREATE command for the database itself.

We have a client in java swing it uploads only the server We need to fix 1. timer to sync files in a folder/folder tree (a stupid function to only upload when folder is selected is in place now) 2. remove menu icons in the mini menu 3. create installation package for MAC and PC 4. obfuscate code. 5. Create an exe/pkg file for each environment so the java can not be backward engineered. What we need from you - we need to see some shorter code that you can code java and you have a proper structure on it - you have to be a super expert in menus and GUIs to be able to fix the GUI problems - be able to obfuscate and compile the java code so the user cannot do backwards engineering on our code. - You create an installer for both Mac and W10. Your experience - 10+ years with java develo...

Hello, I have one page simple HTML file (which is simple and stupid), I need a professional person to use bootstrap or other libraries to make it fully responsive (all phones, screens, such as iPhones, etc) and add some effects (with free libraries) to make advance. Note that this is just a simple test, if you do it I will give you the remaining pages. Thank you.

I have a PyTorch model that needs to get converted into MLModel. As well, build a sample app that feeds the model with inputs and gets and processes the model output. Deliverables Xcode sample project. I need eventually an Xcode project purely in Swift, that use native Swift (no third party none-Swift based) to handle everything. So an app that pick an image and a mask (stupid-simple mockup), and results in an inpainted image. Also involves conversion of the PyTotch model to MLModel using coremltools (Apple official Python library to covert models) and use it for the inputting process. The model paper and source file are here: We need to use the model to generate high quality inpainted version of the image (please read the README to understand the difference

Im putting together a business video and need some video footage related to the topics below, for each topic I need approx 5-15 seconds- the footage should be related to the topics and can be funny or quirky if possible should be of a high resolution from 1920 x1080+ I need two pieces of foo...footage related to the topics below, for each topic I need approx 5-15 seconds- the footage should be related to the topics and can be funny or quirky if possible should be of a high resolution from 1920 x1080+ I need two pieces of footage for each of the topics below Search Engine Optimisation Mysterious Dark Art Computer Binary System Struggling, frustrated in business Business Consultant- stupid / funny Worth weight in gold A woman being Interviewed for a job Saving money No sound ...

We are a small Korean restaurant based in London. We are looking to refresh our current menu signboards. You should use creative elements t...are looking to refresh our current menu signboards. You should use creative elements to design a new signboard using the same information from our current menu signboards which are attached. - There are two Menu Signboards - available in PDF or CDR - You can use Purple, Yellow and Magenta colours whilst also adding black, white and grey elements - You can use the same Chelsea market open font, Stupid Meeting Font (attached) or use new fonts for the design - You can include cropped versions of the images of our food which i've attached. Or you can use vectors/icons related to Korean Rice Bowls or Korean Fried Chicken. Please feel free t...

Hi Simon, I know this is not right to ask like this, but I saw you completed this project #25462301. And I was wondering if you could share the paper with me. I know its so stupid to ask that for free, but I am really in the bad situation, and I will not graduate if I don't post that report. Thanks for understanding, I hope you can do a good thing for me.

probably a stupid setting im not getting, i am having issue with slaves server with VNC that do not waht to launch

We are looking for a team person with experience in the support service. The essence of the work: support and processing of leads in the chat of the site support service, E-mail and Telegram. The working schedule is discussed, preferably 9-19 Moscow time with two breaks of 1 hour. 5 or 7 days a w...site support service, E-mail and Telegram. The working schedule is discussed, preferably 9-19 Moscow time with two breaks of 1 hour. 5 or 7 days a week (Weekends are paid more) Required skills: -English language Advanced (Certificates of education are welcomed) -Selling skills -Politely and competently delivered speech -Stress resistance (There will be clients who will need to politely answer "stupid" questions in your opinion) -Work with text formatting -24 years and older Pay...

...and team in the last 12 months. We’re currently looking for a numbers focused, Microsoft Excel and Google Sheets ninja to join our growing team. The preferred candidate will have strong initiative, relentless focus on accuracy and a get-it-done attitude. As a supportive workplace, we’re always looking for team members who are not shy to speak up if they have any questions.... after all, the only stupid question is an unasked one! Are you in love with spreadsheets? Do you look for statistical significance in your daily life? Do you correct people who confuse mean and mode? If so, keep reading… Your main responsibilities will include: - Amazon Sales and Performance Tracking - Financial Reporting: Financial breakdown/reconciliation of sales on Amazon and money o...

We built a device using the following components: Raspberry Pi Zero W + GPS+GSM Hat (https://ozzma...acceleration and decelerations and store it into an internal database (SQL Lite). Every 10 seconds the device sends the recordings to a server. The code is already written in python, and the project is functional, but we have problems with the recordings. The device stop sending data, or cand get a GPS Fix. We are total begginers in Pythin and Raspberry Pi, so there is a high chance we made some stupid mistake in our code, or mybe mistreated the ashyncronous comunication. We just need someone with experience in Raspberry Pi and Python to audit the existing project, and find possible mistakes. We have a complete documentation of the project, that will be shared after we reach to an ...

I need someone who can create a copy of my driving lic all details provided non chip license haryana wont pay stupid money max $40 AUD